very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
