Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
And then he peed in my hair
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
