Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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