dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
