11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
