how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
