Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Say something about gay babies.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
