PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
