# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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