I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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