I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
