I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
