he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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