Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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