she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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