so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
