He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
