Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
