i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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