i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
