..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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