3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
