On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
