It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize