you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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