Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
