my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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