i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
