so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
