i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
