So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
