Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
