Screwed.edu
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
