There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
