It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
