My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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