can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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