I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
