she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
