I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
