well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
