I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
