You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
