I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
