consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
