her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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