Me too!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
