I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
