pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You can't special order awesome
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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