Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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