I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
