here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
