i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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