If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
