Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
