i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
