My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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