Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
