Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
