Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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