no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize