I'm passing your future prison.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
